12:03 am 112320

And another painful night. Its me again sharing how hurt I am for all of whats happening in my life now. I know that I need to look at the brighter side but sometimes all you need is to cry. 

So this is me after crying for almost 2 hours. 

I look so wasted huh? Siguro akala nung iba, ang OA ko for crying and for always feeling alone pero andyan naman mga anak ko whos always makin me happy and makin me stronger. Pero sometimes, malulungkot ka nalang talaga. Darating yung time na bigla ka nalang magbbreak down. Itatanong mo kung bakit kaya ganun? Bakit ganito? Hanggang kailan ganito? Kaya ko pa ba? May magbabago ba? Pero theres still so much to thank for. Mas madami pa din taong nahihirapan sakin. I still need to be thankful for my health, for my kids and for my family. 

Ever wonder why I always feel empty?  Siguro kasi there are things that I want that can never be mine. Siguro kasi may mga gusto ko gawin pero di ko magawa. Siguro kasi madaming akong need itama na mali. Siguro kasi i need to be stronger pa. Ang dami kong siguro. 

fYI. I Dont have depression. Sadyang iyakin lang ako. I cry whenever I think of something sad about my life. Whenever I think of someone I miss. I Cry easily listening to songs I can relate my life with. Iyakin talaga ko eversince. So this isnt new to me. 

Sorry blog if always sad nalang nakekeep ko sayo. Ill make sure to publish my happy days too. Its just that whenever I wanted to speak to someone and since I have no one and theres a lot in mind that I wanted to type, I share it with you. Xx

Anyway, its 12:16. My eyes are still maga as it is. I am not crying anymore. But guess I wont be sleeping yet. Gonna browse and watch some happy movies baka sakaling sumaya ako. We'll see. ,💞

Always,

Jhaaaaymieeeeee